Having a new partner can be a fun and exciting time! You are exploring each other’s bodies and learning what the other person likes. While there are a ton of amazing traits to JN, there is one thing he really enjoys eating me out. This is an act that I have had mixed feelings about, being in emotionally damaging relationships caused me to feel a lot of anxiety over the act, and often feeling guilty of receiving pleasure without giving them any in return. This led to expectations that I MUST reciprocate or cum again if we have sex after. It really messed with my head and for years I disliked the act.
This was something that we talked a bit about before we got together again. He told me that it was something he loved to do, and I really just didn’t believe him. How could someone love giving pleasure to me without getting anything in return? I had agreed to keep an open mind and that maybe my views on the whole thing were wrong. And let me tell you, I was WRONG! The moment I felt him kiss down my stomach I knew it was coming, I was nervous, scared, and fairly anxiety-ridden. As soon as he licked me once, I knew that I didn’t want him to stop.
He brought me to a place where I was in complete bliss. I forgot about everything around me. I had been eaten out before with previous partners, but I never felt like it would be ok to just lay there and enjoy it; that my partner would even be thrilled to do it. As soon as I had cum, I was filled with guilt again. Every time he ate me out I was put in this battle in my head. I couldn’t wrap my mind around why he would ever enjoy this!
After 3 weeks of great sex, we are now reminiscing of our times together and I finally asked him about it. Why do you love it so much? His response;
“When I’m down there I feel like I’m entirely in control of your pleasure. It just feels so powerful. It’s an act where I can’t be selfish. I don’t get anything out of it, other than the sense of accomplishment and pride. It’s all about you, and I get to show you just how much I want to please you”.
I was shocked, I thought that he just liked it because he felt like it was something he needed to do. It actually made him feel good about himself, and even like he has power over the situation, which he 100% did! I can understand this feeling because it’s how I feel when I give him blowjobs. I want him to hear him moan, and feel so much pleasure because of something I am doing to him. It never occurred to me that someone might actually want to give me pleasure and if they did I felt very undeserving of it. It’s different with JN though, he makes me feel loved with every kiss, every lick, and every grab of my hips. I never wanted him to stop and it was a feeling that I had only ever dreamed of. But what did he get out of it?
“I can feel almost every little movement you make. I feel you shake, move about, your breath quickening, your thighs squeezing against me as if you’re worried I might try to get away, when you let those slight moans escape even though you’re trying to be quiet, when you cum on me, and when you begin to spasm. It all makes my efforts 100% worth it”.
I realized that this was the epitome of romance, wanting to show your partner how much you want them, and what they mean to you. While sex is not the only way to portray your feelings, it is a strong way for us to do so. When you are with someone you feel strongly about, even small acts like oral sex can show your partner that you are completely enthralled with them and willing to give yourself to them.
I love that my reactions to what he does bring him a lot of joy. Everyone always wants to know that they are doing something that the other person likes, and it can sometimes be hard to tell. Oral sex puts you in a position where you are in control. The amount of effort and attention that you put in will often be noticed by the other person. They are acts that can’t really be done half-ass. Being devoted to this act and to your partner will give them body shaking orgasms, or maybe that is just me!
Just the thought of him going down on me now brings me into this warm fuzzy space. I get goosebumps and butterflies every time. I just wanted to thank JN, for taking the time to explain this all to me. It completely changed how I view you eating me out, and I no longer have any guilt around it. You always have the right things to say when I need reassurance, and you humour me when I want the nitty-gritty details. You really are the best sex bloggers boyfriend!
To all the people who feel the same way that I did, talk with your partner. Understand that you are deserving of the love that they want to give you. Never let them feel like you must reciprocate the action back if you do not want to. It is their choice to go down on you, and they shouldn’t expect anything in return. Don’t be afraid to try something new, or revisit something again with another partner. You never know how things might be different with them.
Moral of The Story: Have more oral sex, it is an experience out of this world!