We live in the 21st century which in terms of dating means we are all aware of Tinder, Grinder, Plenty of Fish, Christian Mingle, the list can go on forever. There is often a stigma about using an online dating app or site. Now as much as I hate to admit (and a ton of people do too) I have used dating apps. Mostly because I’m the biggest introvert but I am able to talk to people over text much easier. Now, of course, dating apps aren’t always a good idea or they can be nerve-wracking but here are some tips I have for exploring the world of online dating.
Choosing the right app to use is honestly half the battle. I haven’t tried many different sites because of simplicity reasons. I have mainly used Tinder, an app that I used 5 years ago in university and it has continued to be my safety blanket when I’m trying to meet new people. Now we have all heard of the cringe Tinder stories, and I totally agree that there can be some sketchy people out there I don’t think that they are specific to Tinder. You will find them everywhere. I did use Bumble for a bit as well, I tried these two because I love having access to the app on my phone. Their apps are easy to download and interact with. Don’t worry about having to choose one and you’re stuck with it, there are so many that you can work between if you don’t like the experience.
Making a Profile
Even though it might seem like a daunting task, making a bio really isn’t that tricky. First, you have to choose a few photos, I like to include some selfies, and then some event photos or just me doing stuff like that like. Tons of people just swipe through photos so try and find a few different ones that might catch people’s attention or be very true to your interests.
The bio part might be tricky, it’s hard to summarize ourselves in a little box. I stick with adding my interests, any goals that I am working towards, and then some date ideas or things that I like doing. If you are into someone fun and unique addition that in! You want to find someone who reads this and is interested in similar things. I also like to add a few emojis because they are cute lol.
So you’re all set and ready to find someone new! You have just unlocked the catalog of people around you, now what? How do you choose which to like and which to pass on? I found that my immediate thought is looks, we all have a certain type that we are more attracted to. Now if looks aren’t important to you then you can do what my favourite thing is, read their bios. Bios can give you a decent insight into them, there are a TON of people out there who don’t write anything and I tend to not like them because they don’t seem serious about meeting someone and getting to know them (maybe that is just me). Now don’t worry about liking someone by accident or swiping the wrong way, most apps allow you to unmatch with someone or you can pay to undo someone you chose not to like.
Interacting With People
You’ve swiped/liked a few people and they also liked you. YOU FOUND A MATCH! This might seem super exciting especially if it was something you were interested in. I would always suggest sending a message even if they haven’t already. You can just go with a simple, “Hey, What’s up?” Or you can comment on something that caught their attention. I have been met with cheesy pickup lines, compliments and even a few crude ones as well. If someone says something you aren’t comfortable with just ignore them. You can likely block them too. I find that it is good to start off with a typical conversation and try to get to know them better or find similar interests. I love playing 20 questions and it breaks up any awkward silence if you don’t know what to say.
It’s time you finally meet this special someone that you have been talking to. I typically don’t meet up with someone unless I have been talking to them for a week or more and have felt comfortable. Often I will even exchange a phone call before as well. I can’t stress this enough but ALWAYS meet in person, tell someone where you are going and who with, and have a way to get out of a situation. If I am ever meeting someone new I tell my friend the person’s name, where we are going, how long I plan to be gone. My escape plan is typically sending a certain emoji and my friend calling me saying it’s some sort of emergency. Don’t feel bad if you need to use your escape plan! I find that meeting at a coffee shop is good because there is a short time limit and you can leave easily if things aren’t going well.
How did your first meeting go?! If it went well then GREAT, you can continue talking and plan to meet up again another time. Did it not go as you thought, that is totally normal! There are times where I have had to abort the mission and leave early. Not everyone meshes well in person and that is totally ok. I found that if this is the case it is best to let them know. Tell them you appreciated meeting them but you just didn’t feel a spark or something. Don’t feel the need to keep talking to them if you don’t feel like it. Don’t feel like you won’t meet someone because you will, sometimes it just takes a bit. Plenty of fish in the sea.
Moral Of The Story: You can find love, even online