Is Porn Considered Emotional Cheating?

Emotional cheating, It means forming a strong and intimate emotional bond with someone other than your partner. I came across an article heading that read, “Is Porn Considered Emotional Cheating?” Since reading this header I have been stuck on this topic and I am really curious as to what other people thought. My initial response was, uh nooo? This is due to the fact that I regularly consume porn and it is something that my partner and I are comfortable with. I later realized that some people may actually consider it cheating, but I didn’t understand why! As a curious being, I knew I had to get to the bottom of this.

(I clearly should have read the article to see what it was about)

In order to get to the bottom of this, I turned to my friends and asked for their opinions. Many said No, It wasn’t considered cheating to them (gee guys, thanks for the help -_-). I think nowadays porn is just a regular part of peoples lives, people grow up watched porn for inspiration and educational purposes.

Paint me like one of your French girls

I felt like I needed to dive a bit deeper and I chose to talk with my fellow Redditors and they brought up some GREAT points as to why people MAY think that it is cheating.

The best definition of cheating that I have seen is that it is violating the terms of the relationship you both consented to. Any action can be considered cheating because it’s not about the actions. It’s about the betrayal and breach of trust. Porn can be cheating if it is a boundary you and your partner establish.” – Zuberii

Hmmm… yes.. Good point

Setting Boundaries

I thought this was a great point because they are saying that every relationship is different, and each has different boundaries that have been agreed upon and therefore should be followed. It is always important to speak with your partner/s about what they expect out of the relationship and what boundaries they are comfortable with. You want to ensure you are on the same page and that there are no assumptions. I really enjoyed this response as it reminded me that everyone’s relationship is unique, it’s not black and white. There are so many amazing types of relationships out there and we should be more aware of them. I know that I am often oblivious to different types of relationships other than the ones I have been a part of, not because I don’t care but because I am indifferent to them. I don’t care who is with who or how many people, so long as they are happy.  

Porn vs. Live Cam Shows

Another good point that was brought up was the difference between porn videos and live cam interactions. Many people classified classic porn videos as not cheating, as there is no interaction between two people. It is simply an individual or a few watching a pre-recorded video that is published publically. It is like watching a romantic movie with a sex scene it in, there is no interaction between the individuals, therefore, it is not cheating. I would agree with this as I never feel connected to the people in adult entertainment, but that could just be me. This could differ though depending on your relationship boundaries.

The difference with live cam shows is that you are often interacting with the person on the other side, talking to them and paying them to do things. There is a lot higher chance that you may develop a more personal relationship in these scenarios. This point I agree with as well because I would worry that my significant other might form a very intimate relationship with that other person and that is something that I wouldn’t be comfortable within our relationship at this point.

Both of these points can be agreed and not agreed upon depending on the type of expectations you have set up. In my relationship personally, I would not be upset with my partner if they chose to watch porn (He totally does, P I am calling you out. I know you watch porn!). I also watch a good amount of porn and think it is a regular part of both of our lives and I wouldn’t expect that to ever change. However, if I found out that my partner chose to interact with a live cam model on an intimate and regular basis then I would be worried because this would be a breach of our relationship boundaries (P, just a heads up!).

Trust is also a major factor in this type of interaction if this is something your partner or yourself wishes to partake in. I think that it is important to have a serious conversation about what type of things you are comfortable with and what you aren’t. Make sure you put your feelings and concerns all out on the table, don’t be afraid to tell your partner/s if you aren’t ok with it, your happiness matters! There is always some type of conclusion that you can both come to agree on.

I love nothing more than a good porn video in bed

Things have changed?

I remember growing up and hearing people talk about how their significant other watches porn and it upset them, they felt as if they were not enough for them and they felt betrayed. I think that as porn has become more mainstream this view has changed, it is no longer only men watching, everyone watches and there are a variety of different genres that appeal to everyone and anyone. But if your partner or yourself feel this way then be sure to speak up about how it makes you feel!

So to sum it all up, is porn emotional cheating? Well, It seems that the answer will differ between every relationship. Every relationship now is so diverse that if I said Yes it is, or No it isn’t, then I would be lying to you all. This question isn’t cut and dry yes or no, it is about what boundaries you have set for your relationship. Again, I want to push everyone to have a talk with your significant other/s, whether you have been together for 1 week or 10 years. Talk about what they are ok with and what they aren’t, it might seem awkward at first but I think it will help any problems with trust as you are able to put it all out in the open.

So what do you think? Would you consider porn emotional cheating? Let me know in the comments!

Moral of the Story: Embrace porn if it is something you want to do, sit with your partner/s and set boundaries for your relationship, and masturbate; it’s great.

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2 Comments

  1. Isabelle Lauren

    I agree that anything that breaches consent is cheating. My husband and I watch porn (separate from each other), but we know that and are both cool with it.

    The whole consent thing is particularly important when it comes to people opening their relationship. So often you hear of (mostly) men approaching women on Twitter saying he has an open marriage, but then it turns out his wife is not aware of it. So no, dude, you don’t have an open marriage, you’re cheating.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OpticalLoveStory

      Consent is everything! I have heard about that happening on Twitter as well, It’s awful that people are out there lying about the consent in their relationship and I feel awful for their partners who might not be aware of this happening!

      Like

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